Closeness and intimacy to another person is more than just a desire it is a basic human need.

A lack of intimacy can be downright painful and studies show a cause of depression and anxiety. A happy and healthy relationship can bring so much joy and help you through the stressful times in life however a troubled relationship can be one of the most distressful experiences imaginable. Few things in life compare to those consuming, intense and oftentimes intrusive and/or obsessive thoughts and feelings.

When to come in for couples counselling

Couples counselling isn’t just helpful when things are falling apart. It can be helpful at many other times as well. Sometimes it is helpful when you are taking a new step forward (or backwards) such as moving in together, getting married, having children. Or even when you first start dating someone. Couples counselling helps if you want to do a check in or just make sure you are still in the best possible place you can be at. It helps if you want to deepen and become closer to your partner or make an already great relationship even better with a few modest adjustments. When you are wanting to end a relationship a therapist can help, especially when children are involved. Our relationship counselling expertise has helped many individuals and couples see and address the areas that need the attention – and in a safe and caring environment.

Conflict, disagreement, misunderstandings, loneliness, anger, feeling disconnected, having trouble expressing your feelings and thoughts, feeling insecure, inappropriately expressed anger are just a few of the things that therapy can help with.  When infidelity occurs or other types of breaches of trust it is time to seek help.

How Can Couples Counselling Help?

Relationship skills

Most of us have never been taught any relationships skills. We might have learned from what we have seen in our families, from friends, media, books, internet.  But most of us just have no idea what we are really doing. Couples counselling and therapy will teach the necessary skills to be successful in your relationship.  Knowing and understanding your needs. Being able to communicate your needs in a way that your partner can hear you. Learning to listen to and honour partners needs and feelings. Learning to set boundaries with yourself and your loved one. Being respectful and compromising. Relationship skills can be learned by anyone who is open and flexible and willing to make positive changes.

Build a strong, happy, healthy and loving relationship

We will not blame and shame either partner but work together to find the problem areas in the most constructive ways possible and our therapist’s will teach you everything we know and can to help you fix it. By working together as a team in this pursuit, we will try to make it an enjoyable and uplifting experience for everyone. Couples counselling will help you:

• Learn problem solving and conflict resolution
• Process underlying pain and anger
• Repair your past hurts and issues
• Recognize your patterns, habits and beliefs
• Use relationship skills that work
• Renew emotional intimacy
• Rebuild respect, trust and love

Relationship Patterns

Every couple and every individual bring unique and pervasive patterns to a relationship. Oftentimes these patterns can result in relationship troubles. For example, most couples repeat the same type of fight over and over again and have no idea how to change it.  This is a dysfunctional pattern that therapy can help you shift. Understanding these patterns can be one of the most liberating experiences. Imagine being able to feel closer to your partner and happier with them when issues come up because you both know how to handle them together as a team.  It’s one of the most empowering and uplifting skills you can learn.

Beliefs and Habits

Sometimes due to cultural norms and societal messages we learn beliefs that might not be serving ourselves and our relationship in a healthy way.  Because they can seem so normal and natural it can be impossible to recognize on our own without help from a therapist.  Because many people around us might also have the same beliefs we might not have a reason to question or challenge them.  Beliefs such as it’s not masculine or manly for a man to express his feelings or needs to his partner however, it is okay for women to do so can reek havoc in a relationship. Men might hold in their feelings and they pop out in other ways such as anger and passive-aggressive behaviour or women might not want to listen to a man’s feelings.  These types of beliefs and habitual behaviours serve to further deteriorate a relationship and result in more conflict and fights. Seeing and shifting these beliefs and other unhealthy ones can help to shift a relationship to one of harmony and happiness.